


Flirting 101

by FluffyInsanity



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: AU where Aomine and Kise haven't met yet, Eventual AoKise, Flirting Gone Wrong, Funny, Learning to Flirt, M/M, Mostly funny, Poor Ahomine, They're over 18, University AU, please help this man
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-06-09 21:39:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15276735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FluffyInsanity/pseuds/FluffyInsanity
Summary: Set in an AU where Kise and Aomine haven’t met yet.The GOMs are over 18, and most are in university.Based off a writing prompt.Aomine is bad at flirting, even he knows that. But he gets pushed to a point where he decides to seek help.PS: I'll be tormenting Aomine to an eventual AoKise.Happy reading!





	1. Error: Connection Failed. Please Restart.

Aomine struggles to keep his eyes open, and the monotonous voice of this university teacher isn’t helping him any. Maybe staying up late to watch the NBA game last night was a bad decision. He knows that he should have recorded and watched it later, but the thrill of a live game just couldn’t compare to watching a recording of it. Especially if he knew the score by then already. 

The teacher went on and on and on… _Why did I take this class again?_ he thinks, leaning back into the chair and folding his arms behind his head. He knows that he shouldn’t be snoozing in class, this wasn't high school anymore after all, and it was already a miracle that the XYZ University accepted him. His basketball skills had helped immensely, but they made it very clear that failing wasn't an option anymore if he wants to stay on the team.

He sighs and looks around at the other students. _How the hell are they able to listen to this boring guy?_ he thinks, a little envious of how easy it seems for them to stay focused on this crap. The student next to him already has half a page worth of notes written down while he hasn't even lifted his pen once. _I’ll ask him for a copy of this after class._

He turns his head to the other side and notices a girl smiling right at him. He unfolds his arms and waves a subtle hello to her and she quickly turns away. _Hmm, shy but kind of cute._ Maybe this class isn't so boring after all. 

His curiosity pushing him forward, Aomine pretends to pay attention to class while looking her way from time to time. They exchange glances throughout the class, and he even manages to smile back at her, his foul mood dissipating.

Once the never-ending class finally ends, Aomine slowly packs his stuff, in no rush to get to his next class. He looks up and notices the girl is still there, scribbling away in a notebook. He looks around. They’re alone. Now’s his chance. He shoulders his bag, takes a deep breath, and walks towards her. 

“Hey! Mikka, right?” he says, trying to sound cool while shoving his sweaty hands deep in his pockets.  
  
“Sara,” she answers, eyes never leaving the notebook.  
  
“What?”  
  
She looks up at him. “My name… is… Sara,” she says, obviously offended he said the wrong name. Oops.  
  
“My bad, I suck at remembering names.” He rubs the back of his neck and clears his throat. “You look, huh, really nice today. Your hair is… nice.”  
  
“Thank you?” Her eyes return to the notebook.  
  
“Are you, seeing anyone?” Smooth… very smooth he thinks, internally kicking himself. Flirting was definitely not one of his strengths.  
  
“No.”  
  
“Cool.“ He brightens up. “Did you, maybe, want to…”  
  
“No,” she repeats, closing her notebook and putting her things away.  
  
He frowns and takes a step forward. “I didn’t even finish my sentence.”  
  
“I’m not interested,” she adds with a sigh.  
  
He scoffs, not understanding where this attitude comes from. “You were smiling at me this whole time and now this?”  
  
She stands up and looks him square in the eyes. She’s much shorter than him, but Aomine takes a small step back out of instinct, knowing very well how ferocious short people can get.  
  
“I wasn’t smiling at **you** ,” she says crossing her arms. “I was smiling at the guy **next** to you. And besides, I’m not into guys like you.”  
  
“Guys like me?” he asks, not sure he wants an answer but too pissed off to care at this point.  
  
“Stupid jocks!”  
  
Well, he certainly wasn’t expecting that. “What the fuck?” is all he manages to add to this train wreck of a conversation.  
  
“Everyone knows about you Aomine Daiki,” she adds, looking at her nails like a cat setting up for a kill. “The only reason you made it into this University, is because you’re good at sports.”  
  
“Basketball,” he corrects her. “And who the…” Many choice words flower on his tongue, only to die there as she cuts him off.  
  
“You sleep through classes and then beg people for their notes. You use swear words like your life depends on it. You’ve been wearing that same gross shirt for three days now. You couldn’t even remember my name even though the teacher says it every day. AND that had to be the **worst** flirting I’ve experienced in my **entire** life.”  
  
Aomine’s blood boils and his ears are burning. He opens his mouth to strike back, but she’s not willing to let him.  
  
“Let me guess.” She shoves her hands in her pockets, mimicking his pose, and continues with a deep voice. “You huh, look, huh, nice today, Mikka. I mean, Samantha, I mean. Huuuuuuh. Fuck!” She grabs her bag and rolls her eyes. “It’s no wonder no-one wants to date a loser like you.”  
  
Aomine’s mouth is locked shut despite all the colourful comments he wants to throw at this bitch. Smoke might as well be coming out of his ears now. He grinds his teeth and stays silent instead. Adding anything else would only make whatever this is, way worse.  
  
“Thought so,” she finishes, laughing as she leaves him alone in the classroom to mull over their conversation.

Aomine sits down for a second, not trusting his legs to carry him over to the next class. _Holy shit, what was **that**_?! he thinks as he takes a moment to calm down. Ok, so he misread the situation and sucked at flirting, but did he really deserve all that shit? 

He eyes the clock, and then takes a few deep breaths, preparing himself for the next class. 

_You know what, fuck this…_

He walks out the door, and heads home instead.


	2. Crushed Nuts

Aomine closes the front door and, having received enough shit for one day, is relieved that no-one’s home to add to it because he's missing classes. He tosses his bag in the middle of the living room floor and drops on the sofa, face first.

The nasty feelings swirling inside his head remind him exactly why he prefers the single life. _I don’t need this shit_. He groans, remembering Sara’s laugh as she left the classroom. His fingers curl into fists, his shoulders tense, his heart’s racing even though he hasn’t done anything. 

He turns on his back and stares at the ceiling. “Why am I letting this damn bitch get to me?” He never gave a crap about what people thought of him before, so why is this somehow different? All of this thinking is making him dizzy.

He grabs the remote and turns on the TV to a sports channel, hoping to find something to distract himself with. His frown vanishes when he sees what comes on, and he cranks up the volume. “Jackpot!” he says as the announcer is heard. “…and there’s a better ball to handle for Hatsuka. That’s a great momentum changer. Tonari turned on her offence…” 

Aomine can’t help but smirk. After NBA matches, Beach Volleyball is his favourite things to watch. The announcer’s comments alone are the perfect pick-me-up, and the view, well… “That’s right! Handle those balls,” he repeats after the announcer, settling himself comfortably on the sofa, his worries melting away every time one of the players jump. 

————————-

Hours later, a sharp repeated pain on his forehead wakes him up. He swats away at whatever’s causing it, and forces his eyes open to see a blur of pink in front of him. Barely awake from his nap, his brain only processes portions of what’s being shouted at him. 

“… missing practice … your future career … Are you listening?” The high pitch voice complains.

“Calm down woman,” he says recognizing the annoying voice. He finally catches the arms of the culprit before she smacks his forehead again. “What the hell’s your problem Satsuki?”

She yanks her arms away from him and crosses them on her chest. “You really haven’t changed have you?” 

He yawns and rolls into a sitting position. “What do you want?” he asks, ignoring the question he knew she didn’t really mean.

“You weren’t at practice,” she says, frowning down at him. “You’ve worked so hard…" She lets out a long sigh. "You better not be reverting back into your old self Ahomine.” She moves to smack him once more for good measure. 

“I’m not!” he says ducking away just in time for her to miss. “Now will you quit hitting me?”

She drops next to him. “Then why weren’t you there?” she asks still angry.

“I wasn’t feeling well” he says getting up to grab his bag. “I had a… a headache,” he adds, looking away from her. 

Aomine rubs his forehead. _It's not really lying, right?_ Sara, and now Satsuki, had in fact given him a headache, but Satsuki could usually see right through him. 

She lifts an eyebrow and follows him to his bedroom. “Headache huh,” she repeats, not convinced. “Why don’t you just tell me what really happened?”

“Just forget about it ok?” He sighs. “I forgot we had practice today, and won’t miss one again.”

She looks down at the floor and kicks an empty cereal bowl, not at all surprised by the ungodly state of his room. “Does it have anything to do with what I heard Sara say earlier today?”

Aomine spins around, anger coming back full swing. “What did that bitch say now?” he asks with a low threatening voice. He never cared much for rumours, but nasty ones could easily complicate his life more than he wanted to.

Satsuki lifts both hands up. “I didn’t hear the full conversation, but she was bragging to a group of girls about how she _burned you good_.” She winces at the last part. “What happened Dai-chan?” 

He sits heavily on the bed and drops his head low. 

“I’d rather hear it from you than her,” she adds, sitting next to him. 

She carefully watches him as he explains what took place, and patiently waits for him to be done. He's obviously upset, but she can't quite put her finger on the _why_. It's not the first time he's been rejected. She thinks for a moment before adding anything. 

“I’m sorry Dai-chan,” she says softly. “That must have been brutal.” 

“Yeah, and it’s fucking annoying because I don’t give a shit about her…” He hesitates, but she's the only one he could ever admit something like this to. “But I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“Are you maybe tired of being alone?” she asks, looking at him. “You haven’t really had any serious relationships, not longterm ones anyway.” 

“Sure, rub it in,” he says with a huff. “I don’t know. Maybe?”

He looks at her get up and stand in front of his wardrobe, wondering what's going through her mind.

“Can I ask something, without you getting upset?” she finally asks. 

“Get to it Satsuki,” he says, already frowning. _Whatever it is, it won’t be good._

“Why were you wearing the same shirt all this time?” She looks at the army of black t-shirts he owns, noting there were plenty of clean ones there. “That’s very unlike you.”

Aomine throws his arms up. “What the fuck is that question? I **was** wearing clean shirts.”

“Were they all black?” she adds and, not surprisingly he confirms. “You know there are other colours right?”

He squints at her, knowing where she's going with this. “Black goes with everything. I like black. There’s nothing wrong with black.” 

She turns to face him. “Sara might have been rude…”

“ **MIGHT!?** ”

“…but she had a point,” she finishes, not backing down for a second. Aomine desperately needs help with this, and unfortunately, her knucklehead of a best friend wouldn't know subtle if it sat on him.

“You’re taking **her** fucking side in this?” he asks, the bitter taste of betrayal rising up in his throat.

“No,” she says not at all fazed by his outburst. “But, she wasn’t entirely wrong.” 

“What the fuck Satsuki?” 

She frowns and stares him down. “Well, you do sleep through classes and swear a lot. You often wear identical clothes day after day, and you can’t flirt to save your life.” She takes no pleasure in hurting him, but it needs to be done if he's ever to understand. “I’m sorry Dai-chan, but she was right. Incredibly rude. But right nonetheless.”

“Fucking kill me now,” he mumbles, head buried in his palms, too shocked to look at his childhood friend turned traitor. 

“No,” she says, a wicked twinkle in her eye as a brilliant thought takes form. “I have a better idea.” She moves his hands away and looks him straight in the eyes. “I’m taking you shopping!”

The look of horror on his face was worth a million dollars and she laughs, earning a groan out of him in return.

“We’re going to find a new style for you,” she says smiling ear to ear. “One that will make you look so good, Sara will regret ever rejecting you.”

“Oh no,” he says. “Hell no!” He could already feel parts of him dying on the inside.

“It’ll take us time,” she says, putting her arm under his to pull him forward. “But I promise you’ll feel like a new man once we're done.”

“No, no, no, no, no!” He digs his heals, but eventually caves, knowing she’ll only whine and pout until he goes along with it. 

“Say goodbye to your old jeans and plain t-shirts Dai-chan.” She drags him to the shopping mall while he swears under his breath the entire way.

————————-

_Some excruciating amount of time later…_

“No!” he says for the hundredth time in the last hour alone.

“Come on Dai-chan,” Satsuki says with a pout. “You won’t know until you try it on.”

“There's no way I'm wearing this,” he adds looking at the selection of clothes she put in the changing room he's now locked in... and considering staying in forever. 

“It’s **Edgy**. A lot of people love this style and, trust me, you’ll look amazing in it,” she says from the other side. “Don’t make me come in there!”

He gives the pile of clothes a long look, hoping that if he stares at it long enough it'll burst into flames. When that doesn't work, he exhales and removes his shirt. A few long minutes later, he slowly comes out of the changing room, like a butterfly finally emerging from its cocoon, with a disgusted look on its face. 

Satsuki’s jaw drops. “Oh my god Dai-chan!!!” she squeals before he shushes her. 

“Shut up! I don’t want the entire store to see me wearing this shit,” he says adjusting the white way-too-tight shirt with foreign words on it he can’t read. “And you got the size wrong, this is too damn small.” 

“Not at all! You look very handsome.” She slowly circles him. “This is a form fit shirt, it’s meant to be tight to show off your muscles.” She wiggles her eyebrows to emphasize. 

He rolls his eyes and scoffs. “Fuck, I can’t feel my balls in these pants.” 

“I didn’t need to know that.” She giggles. “You’ll get used to skinny jeans, and know that you’re suffering for a good cause.”

“Not so sure about that, unless the cause is birth control, because my dick’s about to fall off.” He moves away from an incoming smack. “What the hell is **Edgy** anyway?”

“Does it matter?” 

“It must mean the same as **douche bag** , ‘cause that’s how you made me look,” he adds looking at her through the mirror. 

“No,” she replies with a grin. “That look was there before you got here.”

“Very funny…” He tries to adjust the pants which is pointless, one false move and his ass might fall off too.

“Stop it, you look great Dai-chan. Wear this, and I promise the next person you ask out will say yes.”

Aomine shakes his head and turns around to go change back into his comfortable baggy jeans and plain black t-shirt, _which there’s nothing wrong with_ , eager to not have his nuts crushed anymore. 

“Wait!” She stops him, puts a pair of fake blue glasses on his face, and backs away satisfied. “The cherry on top of the sundae. Now you look perfect.” 

Aomine looks down at his delusional but oh so proud best friend and blinks a few times. “I’m gonna get beat up in this,” he mumbles, closing the door, ignoring the insane laugh coming from the other side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regarding the Beach Volleyball portion. This was a real line I heard being said by a real announcer, during a real volleyball match. Hahaha! Don’t listen to volleyball matches with your mind in the gutter.  
> Aomine is a simple man, and I won’t fault him for this part, because it cheers me up too. ;) Hehehe!


	3. You Call That Helping?

Aomine stretches an arm out from under the blankets and smacks a few things on his nightstand until he finally hits that lousy alarm clock. _Ugh, 7am already?_ He considers skipping first period to sleep in, but after missing a class and practice the day before, he really doesn’t want to hear Satsuki or his coach yell at him again. 

He groans, tosses the blankets aside, and drags his feet to the shower, kicking a shopping bag out of his way without giving it a second glance. _I can’t believe I bought those stupid looking clothes._ He growls, wishing he had put his foot down with the pink she-devil and bought the new all-black running shoes he saw earlier that week instead. 

A few minutes later, with a damp towel still on his head, he puts on his usual baggy jeans, ignoring the nut-crushers Satsuki swore still made him look manly, and grabs a grey t-shirt along with a dark blue hoodie. _I only have black shirts huh?_ He smirks and heads out the door.

Once at school, he rushes to class and bumps into a few people along the way, mumbling halfhearted apologies. He looks at the time and starts to run, coming to a sudden stop as he approaches the classroom, barely avoiding a couple kissing in the middle of the hallway. “Seriously? Couldn’t do this off to the side now could you?” he says under his breath, but they’re too busy to hear him, much less notice that he almost levelled them out.

As he sidesteps the lovebirds, one thing grabs his attention. The guy currently sucking face... is wearing damn skinny jeans. He rolls his eyes and blames Satsuki for this, because he never paid attention to what people were wearing before. 

“A lot of guys wear skinny jeans Dai-chan.” he remembers her saying, and a quick look around him proves just that. Three guys in this hallway alone are wearing them. _Poor bastards_ he thinks, unconsciously adjusting his crotch. _Poor bastards who get laid though._

These guys were clearly in relationships: one was holding someone’s hand, another was talking sweetly on the phone, and the other he almost crashed into had his tongue so deep in this girl’s mouth, Aomine thought she might suffocate. 

Maybe Satsuki was onto something. 

He drops his stuff in an empty seat at the back of the class and freezes. Almighty Sara's sitting in front, already chatting up the teacher. _Shit!_ Aomine lowers himself in the chair and pulls on his hood, hoping she won’t notice him. Obviously, that’s not enough to hide his 6’4” frame and she turns around with a shitty smirk on her face like she knew he was there the whole time. _I really need to ask Tetsu how he does the vanishing thing._

He exhales when the teacher starts speaking and Sara thankfully turns her attention away from him. Aomine’s never been so glad to hear about whatever boring subject he forgot this class was about. 

Two gruelling hours later, he’s the first out of the classroom, eager to get out of Sara’s radar, and grab something to fill his screaming stomach with before the next class. 

After waiting in line for what must have been an eternity, he feels victorious with two breakfast sandwiches in hand. He slowly heads towards his next class without a care in the world. “Fuck yeah!” he says between bites. “Totally worth the wait.”

XYZ University’s pride may be its kickass sports team and fancy medicine program, but Aomine would argue anyone willing to hear him that the Cafeteria was in the top 5 reasons why people should come here: great basketball team, _obviously_ , awesome food, not too far away from major cities, and oh so many beautiful people to look at. _What’s that you say? That’s only four? Well that’s because the food counts twice. **That’s what!** Grab a sandwich and tell me otherwise!!!_

Aomine nods to himself, much happier now that there’s food in him. He finishes the first sandwich and unwraps the second one. _Maybe I should have bought a third._ He hears a high pitch voice behind him and looks over his shoulder. _No!_ Thundercunt Sara is close by with a group of people surrounding her. Not wanting to give her the chance to rip him a new one in front of her friends, he dives into the first door he finds and waits for her to leave. 

“You’re not allowed to bring food in here,” a serious, but familiar voice says behind him. 

Aomine spins around and quickly pushes the taller man away from the door and shushes him. “I’ll share if you stay quiet for a bit ok?” 

Midorima scowls and looks down at the poor excuse of a meal dripping grease all over Aomine’s hand. “No thank you. I don’t eat this junk.” 

Aomine shushes him again and looks at the door. “Hey, what do you know,” he adds, taking a second to look around. “We’re a month into the semester and I finally found the library.”

Midorima sighs and glances at the door. “Who did you anger now Aomine?” 

“No one, just shut up.”

One look at the door, along with Aomine’s sigh of relief when a group walks by, tells him the answer. “You know better than to let Sara get to you.” He pushes up his glasses and turns to his former teammate. “She’s clearly not someone you want to be with.” 

“What?!” Aomine lets out a loud groan. “Did Satsuki tell you?”

“No,” he says straightening a small banana shaped pin attached to his bag, no doubt his lucky item of the day. “Sara’s the captain’s sister, nanodayo. Everyone on the team knows about your… argument.” Midorima adds.

“Fuuuuuck.” A few students turn to look at Aomine, annoyed by the noisy interruption. “What did she say exactly?” he asks in a quieter voice.

“I don’t take part in gossip,” he says, taking a step towards the door.

“No.” Aomine grabs him by the arm. “Tell me what that twat said.”

Midorima easily frees his arm from Aomine’s grasp. "There's no helping it then." He motions to a room further away, designed to listen to audio and video files from the University’s archives. 

“The fuck? Creepy much,” Aomine says once in the small dark room with two chairs and a computer.

“Do you want the other students to hear this as well?” Aomine shakes his head and Midorima exhales before continuing. “She stopped by after practice yesterday and mocked your clothes, cleanliness, and even speculated that you may be a virgin.” He sighs at the last one, wishing gossip wasn’t such an important part of student life. “Whatever went on between the two of you. She seems determined to ruin your reputation.”

“Nothing happened.” Aomine sits down. “I thought she was smiling at me, ok? That's it.” He combs his fingers through his hair and talks faster. “You know that’s all bullshit, we use the same locker room, and you’ve met my exes. Come on!”

Midorima nods, already aware of this. “The team knows all of that…” He then decides to remain quiet instead of adding onto his friend’s hardship. Virgo was unfortunately in last position for the second day in a row. 

Aomine looks up at him. “But?” He asks, knowing there was more. 

Midorima shakes his head. “…Those who don’t know you will more than likely believe her over you.”

“What the fuck do I do now?” 

“Your lucky item for today is…”

“Cut that crap Midorima,” Aomine interrupts. “I don’t care about the whole horoscope thing. I need **real** advice.”

Midorima squints and considers leaving, but being used to Aomine being Aomine, he lets it slide. “You can either ignore it or prove her wrong. I suggest the first option.”

“What?” Aomine frowns, unsure where his friend’s taking this. “Am I supposed to let her call my exes for references?" he says halfway between shouting and laughing. "And if you’re going to tell me to change what I wear. No thanks! Satsuki already tried.” 

Midorima expected Aomine would react this way. He adjusts his glasses and takes a deep breath. Wanting to help his friend, but also to get to class on time, he sees no other way. This will need to be quick and painless. 

“Dressing differently will help,” he says ignoring the glare he receives. “But, more importantly, what do you use as an opening line when you first meet someone?” he finally asks going straight to the point. 

“You mean…” Aomine tilts his head. “Like a pick up line?”

“Yes,” Midorima says flatly. At least he didn’t have to explain **that** part.

“I never know what to talk about, so I just say whatever,” Aomine replies with a frown. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“By improving your conversational skills,” Midorima says with as much patience as he can muster. "...And with enough time. You will prove Sara, and whoever believes her, wrong.”

Aomine blinks, unsure if he should be insulted or not. “Are you saying I can’t talk to people?”

Midorima ignores his comment, seeing no sense in adding fuel to an already raging fire. “You should aim for a subject that will catch the other person’s attention and strike an interesting conversation. Then build up from there.”

Aomine takes a moment to process the fact that the ever so uptight Midorima is giving him flirting advice. “So, use a good pick up line?” he said, trying not to let his surprise show. 

“Even you can’t mess this up, nanodayo.” Midorima looks at his watch and moves to open the door. 

“How the hell do I do that though?” Aomine stands up. “And how did you turn into a love expert? Must be all the time you spend with Takao,” he adds with a chuckle. 

Midorima turns around to face him. Aomine flinches when he sees anger building up inside the emerald eyes. _Oops, too far?_

“Hand me your phone,” Midorima replies, almost growling.

Aomine hesitates but complies. His friend taps on the phone for a few seconds and then returns it. 

“Good luck… You’ll need it.” He’s out in two quick strides and already halfway towards the exit by the time Aomine steps out of the tiny dark room.

He looks down at his phone to see a browser window opened to a search engine’s main page with “pick up lines” already typed in the search bar. 

_Pfft._ He scowls in the direction Midorima left.

_And they say I’m a dick._


	4. Mirror, mirror, on the wall.

Aomine’s luck must finally be on his side, because not only is there no team practice today, but the Queen Bitch wasn’t in any of his afternoon classes. _Thank fuck for that!_ He’s able to go the rest of the day without any unwanted excitement. Small victories are still victories.

During the train ride home, he tries to think of a reason why Sara might be so upset with him, but can’t think of one. He also can’t come up with a good plan to avoid her for the rest of the semester, but he figures she’ll eventually move on and sink her claws into some other poor dude. At least he hopes.

Once in his bedroom, he looks at the pile of homework gathering dust on his desk and opens his laptop. His eyes darting back and forth between the bright screen and the depressing mountain of papers. 

He sighs, brings up a new browser window and his fingers lazily type in the search bar:

> [History of the development of…] 

Aomine tries to finish the sentence. He **really** does! This paper’s due in a week and he hasn’t started it yet. He’s going to fail if he doesn’t get at least sixty percent on it. Anything below that, and his dumbass of a coach won’t let him play. And when scouts could be in the stands at any time, missing even one game could make a huge difference. He has no other choice.

“Come on,” he tells himself. “Just one more word.”

He wants to do it, but just thinking about it makes his brain melt into a puddle of I-don’t-give-a-damn and he can feel part of himself die on the inside. 

How will History be useful to his Professional Basketball Player career anyway? Seriously. How? No one will care if he remembers what happened hundreds of years ago, as long as he can fucking dunk. And when he can’t anymore, he’ll be too rich to care. 

_Fuck it._

> [Backspace] [Backspace] [Backspace] 

His fingers type again, a little faster this time. 

> [Pick up lines] 

> [Search] 

_Oops, my fingers slipped._ He chuckles, proud of his choice despite everything. 

His smirk falls when he sees what the search engine brings up.

> [About 425,000,000 results (in 0.42 seconds)] 

“Holy shit!” he says looking at the never-ending list of websites dedicated to that subject alone. 

“How the hell am I supposed to know which site to use?” He mutters a few curse words through his teeth. “Thanks a lot Midorima. I hope you can’t find tomorrow’s stupid item.”

He looks at the ceiling, as if the answer might be written on it… It obviously isn’t. 

_Well, it’s that or the History paper._

He looks back at the screen and goes though the first few search results, one at a time, denying that he's a little relieved to not be alone with a flirting problem.

> [50 Hilarious Pick up Lines…] ---- _No._  
>  [120 Cheesy Pick up Lines…] ---- _No?_  
>  [15 Corny AF Pick up Lines…] ---- _Er… What?_  
>  [Top 100 Best Pick up Lines…] ---- _Alright, this one I guess!?_

_How bad can it be?_ He clicks on the fourth one and reads a few of the lines listed by the site. 

> Do you have a Band-Aid? I just scraped my knee falling for you.  
>  There’s something wrong with my phone. It doesn’t have your number in it.  
>  If you were words on a page, you’d be what they call ‘Fine Print’!  
>  You must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night. 

He stares at the screen like a deer caught in headlights: mesmerized, confused, and unsure of what to do next. 

He leans back in the chair and crosses his arms. _People use stuff like that to get dates... And it works? Really?_

“I can’t believe it.” He shakes his head. “These are…” He looks back at the screen, eyes wide. “These. Are. AMAZING!”

He stands up and walks around his bedroom. His brain switches to overdrive, trying to digest the world of information that’s just been handed to him on a silver platter called The Internet. How had he not known about this? Why didn’t anyone tell him before?

This is pure gold! It changes EVERYTHING! 

He could **feel** his flirting game level up.

"Fuck yeah!" he shouts, excited to see the light at the end of the tunnel called his single life.

He rushes back in the chair and grabs the first pen and piece of papers that he sees, which turns out to be a purple pen Satsuki forgot at his place and small cards he used to write notes for a presentation she helped him with earlier this week.

"Good enough," he says. "Gotta write that shit down before I forget."

Grinning ear to ear, he fills up almost five cards before stopping to re-read them. _That’s fucking awesome!_ He nods to himself. If Midorima was here now, he’d hug him. Ok, maybe not. But he’ll high five him tomorrow… or something.

_That giant brain of his sure comes up with brilliant crap once in a while. I wonder what else he has jammed up there._

His train of thought takes an abrupt sharp turn as a new idea appears in the distance. There’s someone else he knows with a giant brain. Someone he knows well, who has no issues flirting at all. Someone who can definitely help him out. 

Still riding the wave of excitement, he pounces on his phone and opens the contact list.

His thumb hovers over the person’s name for a second, when a familiar squeezing sensation wakes up in his chest. A fight or flight reaction not many people can give him. He puts the phone down and stares at it, a flood of excuses popping up in his head: _He’s in law school. He’s busy. There’s no way he’s got time for this. He has important shit to worry about. It's late. He won’t want to. Actually it's not that late. And he would probably want to… He’s changed a lot over the past years…_

He stares at the phone for a moment longer and grabs it. 

_I’m gonna to regret this._ But he’s desperate. He presses on the name, and waits. 

[Ring]

His heartbeat rises out of instinct. _Shit. What if he’s pissed I'm calling him for this?_

[Ring]

He considers hanging up but it's too late now.

[Click]

“Hello Daiki,” comes a serious, but polite voice from the other end. 

Aomine winces but keeps his cool. “Hey Akashi, how are you doing man? It’s been a while.”

“I’m well, thank you, and you?” 

“I’m alright, thanks. Huh, listen.” Aomine rubs his free hand on the back of his neck. “Do you have a minute to help me out with something?”

“That depends on the matter Daiki, but I’ll do my best.”

Akashi’s voice is calm and level. _So far so good. Here goes nothing._

“Can you help me,” Aomine takes a deep breath, “…up my game?”

Akashi pauses for a moment, surprised, yet flattered, by the question. “Daiki, you’re supported by a notable coach, and Shintarou's there as well. I don’t see what more I…”

“No… not **that** kind of game,” Aomine says embarrassed.

“Oh?”

Silence comes from the other end, and Aomine checks his phone to make sure they weren’t cut off. _Nope, he's still there._

“You want dating advice,” Akashi finally speaks, genuine interest coating his voice. 

Not surprised that he got figured out so fast, Aomine exhales and lowers his head. “Yeah.”

Another pause comes and goes. Either Akashi’s looking for the right thing to say, or he’s torturing him on purpose. Possibly both.

“You may know this already, but your body communicates more than your mouth can.”

“What?” Aomine’s already confused. How could his body _talk_?

“What I mean is, presence is everything.” Akashi explains, more than willing to take his time despite his busy schedule. This was an important lesson, and he was glad Aomine was finally open to learn it. “The best advice that I can give you is this: stand tall don’t slouch, smile don’t frown, look them in the eye and nod when they speak, so they feel like you’re paying attention, and lastly, always be polite.” He'd elaborate more, but flooding someone with too much information is sometimes worse than not giving them any.

Aomine’s frown deepens. “So basically, don’t be myself,” is what he concludes. He’s starting to see a pattern...

“You can be yourself Daiki, in fact it’s important that you are, but you only get **one** chance at making a first impressions.” Akashi takes a short pause to look for the right words, not wanting to insult Aomine. “You need to keep in mind that you’re a strong, tall man, who tends to scowl often. That can come across as intimidating to some. Which isn’t ideal if you’re looking to find a date.”

Aomine sighs. “Yeah, I get it.”

“You’ll find the right person soon enough, have patience,” Akashi says, softening his voice. “It’s good that you’re seeking to better yourself Daiki. Try practicing in front of the mirror, that’s helped me in the past.”

“Alright, thanks,” Aomine says.

“You’re welcome. Have a nice evening Daiki!”

Aomine hangs up and tosses the phone on the bed behind him. _So be myself, without being myself. What's so wrong with being me?_

He stands and walks towards the mirror in his closet. _Why the fuck not?_ he says making faces at the reflection.

Being single sucks to a degree, but what pains him right now, the real motivator behind all of this, is dating people who don’t give a shit about him, not the real him anyway. They either like him because he's tall, the ace of the team, or because he has a _bad boy_ look. None of his past dates dug any deeper than this and it's quickly becoming depressing.

Having someone to fool around with used to be enough for him, but as time strolls by, he finds himself wanting more. He has no clue what _more_ looks or feels like, but maybe trying new things will help him find it.

He spends more time than he’s willing to admit practicing what Akashi told him, before going to bed feeling like an idiot, still not at all convinced that any of this will make a difference in the end. 

But, what does he have to lose… aside from his dignity?


	5. ...Well Shit

Aomine stretches lazily in bed, enjoying the morning sun on his back, happy that the weekend finally decided to show it’s sweet sweet face. Not having to worry about a damn thing for two glorious days is exactly what he needs. His plans? Nothing! Followed by not-a-damn-thing. Sprinkled with naps here and there. This week has been a total train-wreck, he needs some peace and quiet to reset.

A blinking light on his phone draws his attention. Who could be messaging him this early on a Saturday? He taps on the phone to see the notification and is surprised to see Tetsu’s name appear. The little guy had been quiet for the past few weeks, rightfully blaming his new part time job at a daycare, of all places, and full time studies at a different university.

_Everyone’s getting busier and busier._ Well, everyone except for Aomine it seems. He’s lucky to not have needed a part time job this far, and his classes were fairly easy, compared to medicine or law school anyway. But it still sucks that everyone’s free time is shrinking. It leaves him with a nasty feeling of being left behind, as if he's doing something wrong or missing out on something important. 

Aomine unplugs the phone and rolls on his back to read the message, hoping Tetsu wants to hang out and maybe play some ball. It’s been way too long since they had any form of quality hang out time and he could use the pick-me-up.

Aomine frowns when he notices that it’s a group message:

> **Kuroko Tetsuya** : Hello everyone! Kagami is in Japan for a short week visiting relatives, and I thought it would be nice to get together and catch up while he’s here. Are any of you available tonight?
> 
> **Momoi Satsuki** : YES!!! Count me in! Welcome back Kagami-kun!
> 
> **Akashi Seijūrō** : Welcome back Taiga! Unfortunately, I am out of town on business with my father. My sincerest apologies. 
> 
> **Murasakibara Atsushi** : Welcome back Kaga-chin. I'm available. Where are we going?

Aomine quickly scrolls through the mindless chatter, which mostly consists of people greeting Kagami, wishing him well, saying if they can come or not, blah blah blah. _Who cares?_ But he lights up when he sees the place they decided to meet up in: a new bar not to far from his place that he’s been meaning to try.

A smirk grows on his face as he starts typing.

> **Aomine Daiki** : Kaga-who? Never heard of him. 
> 
> **Kagami Taiga** : Very funny Aho.

He’ll never admit it out loud, but he misses the red headed idiot. Their basketball rivalry in high school was one of the few things that kept Aomine going when everything else made him want to stand still. What started as pure rivalry, grew to a friendship Aomine never thought he’d have with someone else than Satsuki. 

And then the asshole had to move back to America…

Satisfied with how quick Bakagami’s answer came, he keeps trolling. 

> **Aomine Daiki** : You miss losing in our one-on-ones so much that you came back for more huh? I’m flattered. 
> 
> **Kagami Taiga** : Don’t be. *thumbs down emoji"
> 
> **Aomine Daiki** : Why else would you drag your sorry ass back to Japan huh? Admit it loser!
> 
> **Kagami Taiga** : I’m here for a funeral.

Aomine’s heart stops. _What? Fuck._ He looks at the message for a moment, wondering if it’s a bad joke but knowing Kagami, funerals aren’t something he’d joke about. And now he feels like ten pounds of crap in a five pound bag. 

> **Aomine Daiki** : …well shit. I’m sorry man, didn’t know. 
> 
> **Kagami Taiga** : Whatever. You coming or not? 
> 
> **Aomine Daiki** : Of course. What time?

Aomine notes the time he’s given and puts the phone down wondering what happened to the good old times. Did getting older really have to suck the life out everything so goddamn hard? What happened to just messing around and having fun? _Nooooooo,_ everything was responsibilities-this, and priorities-that. 

_Ugh!_

Aomine feels the happy days slowly slipping away from his fingers and a dark blanket of boredom threatening to cover every area of his life… and he hates it. This is not what he wants. He has a lot more left in him before surrendering to a stale adult life. 

————————————————

Later that day, another message appears on his phone, from Satsuki this time. 

> **Momoi Satsuki** : You should wear your new outfit tonight Dai-chan! 
> 
> **Aomine Daiki** : No.
> 
> **Momoi Satsuki** : Yes! It’s the perfect time to wear it. Maybe you’ll meet someone you like tonight. 
> 
> **Aomine Daiki** : No.
> 
> _Momoi Satsuki is typing…_

Aomine stares at the screen, waiting for her to be done typing, with a third “No” already typed and ready to be sent in response.

He waits.

And waits.

He rolls his eyes, **knowing** that she’s writing a detailed essay explaining why he should be wearing the atrocities they bought together, how a waste of money it would be for him not to, how he should try new things, how it’s the big fashion trend, how he… 

> **Aomine Daiki** : **FINE!** Damn it… stop typing. It’s a miracle you don’t have carpal tunnel syndrome already. 
> 
> **Momoi Satsuki** : *smiling emoji*

He sighs. He got played… again.

————————————————

Later that night, Aomine knocks on Satsuki’s door and waits for her to answer while he desperately tries to fix his pants.

The door opens. 

“About time. My dick’s gonna fall off ‘cause of those damn pants. Why do I let you talk me into shit like…” His jaw drops when he looks up and sees Satsuki’s dad at the door. "Uh..." 

_Please kill me now._

“Good evening Aomine-kun,” comes the cold, emotionless greeting.

“Sorry. I thought…” He wants to turn and walk away, pretending like this never happened, especially when he hears Satsuki laughing hysterically in the background. Curse that woman. He's convinced she knew this would happen. 

Satsuki’s dad looks at him and frowns. “My daughter’s doing?” he says motioning to Aomine’s clothes. 

Aomine sighs and nods in defeat, earning an empathetic smile from the man.

Satsuki finally appears, fighting back another wave of laughter. 

“I can’t believe you said that to my father,” she says stepping on the porch, wiping away tears.

Aomine’s only answer is a I-fucking-hate-you stare, which breaks what little strength she has left, resulting in her ugly laughing, holding onto Aomine for support. 

Her father looks at him and whispers “good luck” before closing the door. Aomine closes his eyes and shakes his head. 

Their walk to the bar is a mix of Satsuki’s way-too-loud laugh, her trying to convince him that he should dress like this all the time, and Aomine saying "no" a million times.

Aomine’s guts is in knots by the time they reach the bar, but once inside, his mood rises. Good music, decent crowd, and… _No._

_No no no._

He turns around to talk to Satsuki but she’s already further away, looking for Tetsu and the others.

Aomine ducks his head and tries to catch up, but lo and behold, Sara grabs his arms and stops him. 

Why did she have to be here… Now? He takes a deep breath and turns around. She has a wide grin on her face, like she’s found exactly what she's been looking for her entire life. She gives him a long the elevator look, eyeing him from head to toe, making him shudder. Aomine wishes punching people in the face was a legal thing to do, but settles for squeezing his fists until he can't feel his fingers. 

“What do we have here?” she says dragging every word for emphasis. "Did my comments get to you so much that you changed your entire wardrobe?"

“Don’t you have better things to do?” he says bumping into someone when he tries to escape. 

She takes her phone out, and before he can stop her, she’s already taken a picture of him. 

“Wait until the team sees this,” she says typing on her phone while shaking her head.

His heart races and before he can form a coherent thought, his hands move on their own, ripping the phone away from her.

“Hey!” she says loud enough to attract the attention of people nearby. “Give me my phone back!”

He can only imagine how this looks from an outsider’s point of view, a big guy threatening a girl, and getting into a fight is the last thing he wants right now, but being shamed online is not far behind. 

“Why are you such a bitch to me?” he says putting the phone back within her reach. “What the hell did I ever do to you?”

She pulls on the phone and glares at him when he doesn’t release it. 

“Oh, you didn’t do anything to me,” she huffs. “It’s what you did to my brother!”

He takes a second to think about what he could have possibly done to the team's captain, but comes up with nothing. The guy's a bit of a jerk and Aomine talks back, but nothing out of the ordinary.

“I didn’t do shit to your brother,” he says.

She pulls on the phone again but he holds onto it, determined to put an end to… whatever this thing between them is. 

“He was the ace of the team before you joined," she says stabbing a finger in his chest. "He had a good thing going, but now that you’re on the team, all anyone ever talks about is YOU. All the recruiters see is YOU.” She crosses her arms. “You stole any chances he had of going pro, and I won’t let you get away with it.”

“Is that it?” he says, blood rising to his face. “You’re pissed at me because I want to win more than your brother does?” He stares her down, hardly believing this is her reason for being such a pain in the ass. “Really!?”

She opens her mouth to say more, but he lifts a hand to shut her up. 

“Your brother’s good, I’ll give him that, but he doesn’t have the **drive** to go pro. Everyone knows that, **even him.** ” He inches closer, wanting her to hear the next words well. “I worked fucking hard to get to where I am. If your brother wants to be better than me… tell him to quit whining and start working for it like I did every damn day of my life.”

He releases the phone but still doesn’t give her a chance to speak.

“You think you know me, but you don’t.” Aomine’s voice gets deeper. “So you’re gonna stop this bullshit right now, and leave me the fuck alone. Got it?” 

Sara holds the phone to her chest and takes a step back, realizing that she might have underestimated him. 

“And by the way,” he adds before leaving. “Your brother’s a decade too late to beat me." 


	6. Target Acquired

Aomine painfully works his way through the crowd avoiding loud drunks flailing their drinks around and random people bumping into him. He finally finds Satsuki, not surprisingly glued to Tetsu's side, with Kagami and Murasakibara sitting in front of them. He hears two things as he walks towards to their table.

First, is Satsuki’s annoyed voice asking what took him so long to join them when he was right behind her. He shakes his head, in no mood to talk about what just happened with Sara. 

And second, is Bakagami’s howling laughter when he sees him. Aomine purses his lips and nods, expecting that kind of reaction from the big idiot. Kagami would never in a hundred years, miss a chance to poke fun at him, and he can tell that despite all their time apart, tonight will be no different. _Well, at least one thing hasn’t changed._

He plops down in the seat next to Kagami who’s struggling to breathe between fits of laughter.

Aomine glares at him. “I haven’t seen you in ages and that’s how you greet me?” Though to be honest, if the roles were reversed, he’d be laughing at him just as hard, if not more. 

Kagami takes a deep breathe, and tries to answer him, but every time he glances at the blue haired fool, and whatever the hell he’s wearing, he bursts into laughter again and can’t manage to utter a single word. 

“Good evening Aomine-kun,” Tetsu says from across the table with his usual expressionless face. “I didn’t know that you needed glasses,” he comments, completely ignoring Kagami’s reaction. Watching these two fight and bicker is as normal as breathing to all of them by now. 

But before Aomine can provide an answer, Murasakibara leans forward to have a better look. “But, there aren’t any lenses in them,” he says in a serious voice. “Are you wearing fake glasses?”

“Don’t be mean!” Satsuki says, talking over the incoherent mess formally known as Kagami. “He looks great, doesn't he!”

Tetsu gives her a sideways look and nods, though Aomine swears there’s a twinkle of amusement in those baby blues. Aomine groans, tonight’s going to be a looooong night. 

Satsuki pokes Kagami’s arm. “You should be more supportive. Dai-chan’s been very brave lately. He’s trying a lot of new things.” 

“You convinced him to wear this?” Murasakibara chimes in, to which Satsuki agrees proudly.

“Oh man!” Kagami says, holding his sides and wiping away tears. He takes a deep breath and straightens up, trying to avoid to look at Aomine for now, or else he’ll start laughing again. “Thank you Ahomine. I really needed that laugh today.”

“Happy to help.” Aomine rolls his eyes and mutters a “fucker” under his breath. Knowing that Kagami went to a funeral earlier is the only thing keeping him from insulting him back. 

Kagami, surprised by the lack of bite in the comeback, gives Aomine a quick look and notices how his usually laid back friend is sitting with a straight back, jaw clenched tight, and a frown firmly stamped on his forehead. Aomine’s face is beginning to turn read, which means a lot considering how dark his skin is. It doesn’t take long for the rest of the group to notice as well and they exchange looks. 

“Can I ask Mine-chin something?” Murasakibara says between sips of his drink. He immediately receives a warning glare from Aomine who’s about reached the limit of insults he can take in a day. “Why?” Murasakibara adds his voice calm and without sarcasm. 

Aomine sighs and leans his head back, thankful that this isn't another jab at his weakening ego. “It’s a long story man.”

“He’s trying to become better at flirting,” Momoi explains for him. “So I took him shopping for a new outfit,” she adds beaming with joy, "Even Midorima-kun and Akashi-kun helped by giving him great advice,” she finishes looking at him proudly.

Kagami chuckles. “All the help in the world won’t be enough for this guy,” he says playfully poking him in the ribs with his elbow.

“Oi!” 

“What? It’s true, you’re a lost cause when it comes to flirting,” Kagami adds, not afraid to say it like it is despite his friend's bad mood. “I’ve seen you in action. It’s like watching a boat sink, you know it’s going down but you can’t do a thing to save it.”

“Fuck you!” Aomine bites back.

Murasakibara puts his drink down and his shoulders slump. “You asked **Mido-chin** for help but not me?” he whines, his face twisted in pain as if he had just been slapped.

“No offence big guy,” Aomine says, not wanting the purple giant angry at him. “If I ever need baking advice, you’ll be the first one I go to. Flirting's a whole different game.”

Murasakibara frowns. “Which one of us here has been in a _real_ relationship the longest?” he says before pointing to himself. “And by the way, food and dating aren’t that different.”

“What?” Aomine blurts out, not seeing how the two even begin to compare. “You can’t flirt with food, and can’t eat a person…” 

Kagami starts laughing again, not surprised by the idiot’s ability to talk himself into the funniest of situations. 

“Ok maybe you can, but…” Aomine’s ears start to burn and he smacks Kagami’s arm. “You know what I mean idiot!” 

“See? Not that different.” Murasakibara says not in the least shamed by that subject. “It doesn’t matter if it’s people or food, the approach is the same, you always go for the best choice first.” He takes a sip of his drink and stares silently at Aomine who's expecting more of an explanation than this. 

“I don’t follow,” Aomine finally says, looking at the others for an answer. They all shrug. 

“Think about it,” Murasakibara says, a little disappointed that they’re all looking at him confused. “When you’re hungry, what do you go for? Something that tastes bad? No! You look for the best meal you can find, one you _know_ will satisfy you. There’s no point in wasting time and energy on something mediocre.” He motions around them. “It’s the same thing here. Why would you ask someone you don’t really like out on a date, when you know it’ll be bad and not last?”

Aomine frowns at the last part, knowing that Murasakibara’s right. How many times did he hit on someone knowing that it would only lead to a one night stand and nothing more. Sure, it was fun while it lasted, but that was the problem, it never lasted. 

“That… makes a lot of sense,” Kagami says, looking at the tall man with awe. “I didn’t know you had that kind of wisdom in you.” 

Murasakibara smiles at the compliment. “Here’s my advice to you Mine-chin. Find the prettiest person here, and ask them out.”

Aomine’s eyes widen. “There’s no way in hell I’m doing that. Nope. Not today!”

“Why not?” Tetsu asks him. “It seems like the perfect time.”

“Because I’ve had enough people laugh at me already, there’s no need to add to the list.”

“I heard a saying a long time ago that might help you.” Tetsu clears his throat and sits a little straighter, receiving raised eyebrows from the group. “I won't say you'll definitely be able to do it if you don't give up, but if you do give up, then there'll definitely be nothing.” 

Aomine stares at him, unamused. “I’m the one told you that… smartass.”

“And it’s still true today Aomine-kun,” Tetsu adds with a small smile. Aomine can tell that behind that smile, is genuine encouragement. “Flirting is like everything else, you need to practice to get better at it.”

“That’s right!” Momoi says, picking up on what Kuroko’s trying to do. “Why not see tonight for what it really is; a practice. Put all the advice you received into one move that’ll blow someone’s mind away.”

Aomine groans and slumps in his seat.

“Just do it Mine-chin.”

“If it this ends in a disaster, I’ll be the one crushing you!”

Murasakibara rolls his eyes and returns to his drink. 

They eventually turn their attention away from his pathetic situation and focus on catching up with one another. 

—————————————-

After a fair amount of time has passed, Aomine’s mind is calmer and he’s had time to think about what was said. Dating random people he wasn’t really interesting in hadn’t done anything for him in the past. Maybe Murasakibara's onto something and it's time for him to not only change how he flirts with people, but **who** he flirts with.

His eyes go from person to person throughout the room, though he doesn’t really know what he’s looking for. Not him, not them either, and definitely not her. He shakes his head. _This is just practice… right?_ And just when he’s ready to give up, in the sea of bland people, someone stands up and walks towards the bar, suddenly grabbing all of Aomine’s attention.

Aomine feels a pleasant tingle run down his spine as he watches that person walk. The guy’s tall with a lean athletic frame. _Look at those shoulders. He definitely plays some kind of sport._ A smile starts to spread on his face and his eyes slide a little lower to a firm ass tied to long strong legs. _Damn!_ He’s always had a soft spot for blonds too. 

The guy turns around to speak to his friends, giving Aomine a glimpse of his face. “Oh shiiiit, he’s definitely the hottest person here,” Aomine mutters, looking away, praying the guy hasn’t noticed him staring and smiling like a dumbass.

Momoi looks in the same direction and quickly notices who he was more than likely gawking at. She bites her tongue and debates if she should tell Aomine exactly who that is.

“You definitely have good taste,” she says, opting not to. Aomine would never go through with this if he knew that the man he’s practically drooling about is a famous model throughout the country. “Will you go talk to him?”

The sudden realization punches him straight in the gut. “There’s no way I can,” he says, running a hand over his face. He might be a fool, but he's not dumb enough to think that he'd ever stand a shot in hell to scoring a date with a guy like that. “I mean just look at him, he’s wayyyyy out of my league.”

Kagami starts making chicken noises and then grunts when Kuroko kicks him under the table.

Kuroko looks directly at Aomine. “You can do it Aomine-kun.”

Murasakibara raises his glass. “You can do it Mine-chin.” 

Momoi smiles at him as softly. “Just be yourself Dai-chan, you’ll be fine.”

“Sure, tell me that **AFTER** you made me wear all this shit and everyone told me to NOT be myself!!!”

Momoi playfully slaps his arm. “You’ll be fine you big baby! GO!”


	7. The Approach

Aomine stands up and looks for the hot blond he spotted earlier near the bar. His head starts to spin at the thought of what he’s about to do, and he briefly considers sitting back down, but knowing the teasing he’ll receive from Bakagami if he does... He groans, rolls his shoulders, and makes his way towards the bar.

Saying that the barman is busy, would be an understatement. Serving people left and right, making multiple drinks at a time while people yell their orders. The poor man’s more than earning his pay tonight. It’ll take a while before the blond gets his drink and Aomine’s thankful for that small blessing. This should give him enough time to get closer, talk to him… and then get rejected.

He shakes the last thought from his head and tries to remember all the advice he’s received recently. He rubs his face in an attempt to relax it, squares his shoulders and stands tall, trying not to slouch. He mentally repeats polite greetings in his head, wanting to make the best first impression he possibly can.

_Ok. This is it. I got this… I got this!_

The pretty boy’s back is turned to him, and now that he’s only a few metres away, Aomine takes a good look at him, and smirks. _Hey! If I get turned down, at least this will be good material for later, am I right?_ He admires the blond’s lean yet muscular build, and lets his eyes linger on that hot ass as the blond shifts from one leg to the other. _Oh man, those legs…_

**_Focus!_ **

Aomine puts on a smile, which feels as natural as what he’s wearing, and slides a hand in his pocket to feel the note cards. He rehearses the pickup line he’s chosen a few times until he’s convinced that he says it just right. Then he adjusts his shirt one more time, takes a deep breath to steady his nerves, walks the last few steps… and taps on the pretty boy’s shoulder. 

————————————————

Kise winces when he feels a tap on his right shoulder. _Not again._

He’s been working non stop these past few months commuting back and forth around the country with barely any time to enjoy himself, and all he wants right now, is to have a drink with his friends for some much needed catch up time.

But instead, he’s standing here, waiting to order a drink behind a group of obnoxiously loud people and regretting having chosen this particular bar. 

He’s only been here for half an hour, but already four people have tried to hook up with him, each more disastrous than the last. The first was so drunk they could barely stand on their own, the other was a woman much older than him who just wouldn’t take no for an answer, then a man tried to corner him in the bathroom, and the last just straight up groped his butt without so much as a “Hi! How are you?”. 

_Maybe this person will go away if I pretend like I didn’t feel anything,_ he thinks, but sighs when he remembers what his agent always tells him: Be nice to your fans, the last thing you want is bad press. _Better deal with this quickly then._ He slowly turns around to look at whoever’s trying to get his attention. 

Kise’s used to have fans approach him all he time but, they’re usually women. He gives this tall sunkissed man a head to toe look. The man looks nervous and somewhat angry. _Oh, that can’t be good._ Kise’s seen that look before, this is another one of those guys who’s angry because their girlfriend has a crush on him.

Just as Kise’s about to give the well rehearsed “I’ve never met your girlfriend before” speech, the man adjusts his skin tight shirt, drawing Kise’s eyes to his toned chest. Kise’s mind wanders for a moment but quickly snaps back. However, after a few seconds, Kise notices that the man looks more uncomfortable than angry, and based on the way he’s standing, he’s obviously not well in those pants either, which don’t suit him at all if he’s honest. _At least he has great taste in shoes,_ Kise thinks admiring the red Air Jordans. The man rubs the back of his neck and… _wait, are those fake glasses?_

Kise fights the urge to laugh. This man is trying way too hard, but seeing as he looks mostly harmless, Kise plasters the usual polite smile on his face and waits for the man to speak first. _This should be interesting._

Aomine looks the blond in the eyes, like Akashi said, and gets a good look of his face. “Fuck, you’re hot,” is the first thing out of his mouth. He quickly shuts himself up, hoping the blond somehow didn’t hear that.

Kise raises his eyebrows. “I’m sorry?”

“Huh… Hi!” Aomine says, aiming for a smooth recovery. “How are you?”

“I’m well, thanks, and you?” Kise says, keeping his well practiced happy face on.

Aomine struggles. _Must stay polite. Stand straight. Don't look angry._ “I’m good thanks, and you?” 

“I’m… well, thank you.” Kise chuckles.

Aomine’s eyes widen. _Did I seriously ask him that twice?!_ “Fuck, I’m sorry,” he says, biting his tongue for swearing. “I mean… I’m sorry.” 

Kise offers the man a genuine smile this time, finding all of this very odd yet somehow cute. It’s not everyday he gets to see a man get nervous like this in front of him. _How flattering._

Aomine’s stunned. _How can this guy be so hot?_ His brain goes blank and a fair amount time must have passed because the blond’s lovely smile slowly changes into a puzzled look. 

This snaps Aomine back to reality. _Time for the pick up line now… right?_

He opens his mouth but “Huuuuh,” is all that comes out.

_Pick up line._

_What’s the damn pick up line?!?_

He puts a hand over his mouth scared that another swear might come out while he tries to remember what that fucking pick up line is… or **ANY** pick up line.

_Fuck!_

He slides a hand in his pocket, hoping the writing can somehow move from his hand to his brain. He takes a long shaky breath, knowing that any second now, that pretty blond is going to laugh at him in front of all those people and rip him a new one, just like Sara did.

“Are you ok?” Kise asks, concerned for the mess of a man standing in front of him. 

“Yeah,” Aomine blurts out, feeling the exact opposite.

Aomine lowers his head and exhales loudly. For the hundredth time that night, he wants to go back home, but it’s too late now, right? He’s here, and already looks like an ass… might as well go all the way.

Aomine cringes internally as he takes the note cards out of his pocket and tries to read what’s on them without being too obvious.

Kise looks down and tilts his head, wondering what the man just took out of his pocket. Fear bubbles up. _Please don’t let it be something weird again,_ he thinks, remembering the countless items he’s received from his fans, ranging anywhere from a strand of their hair to homemade food and even underwear.

Unable to see what the man’s holding, curiosity gets the best of Kise, and he takes a hesitant step forward. 

It’s clear that the man doesn’t want him to see what he’s holding but when the tanned man moves his hands just a little bit, Kise can see a hint of paper. _A love letter?_ he thinks, chuckling. _Now wouldn’t that be something._ But when he looks back at the man’s face, he thinks otherwise. _Is he reading?_ He takes another step and his smile grows from cheek to cheek when he gets a better view. _Did he... bring notes? Oh my god! Is he for real!?_

Kise covers his mouth and tries very hard to regain his composure. He’s seen his share of shy people, but never in his entire life had anything like this happened. _Notes! The guy brought notes. To a bar!!!_

Kise takes a moment to look at the man again while he waits patiently for him to finish. It’s obvious that a lot of effort and thought went into this and, at the very least, Kise has to admit that this man's different than any other he’s been approached by recently. This is both hilarious and refreshing. 

He looks back at the bar, noticing that the loud group has yet to be served, and nods to himself. _Yeah, I have time. Let’s see where this goes,_ Kise thinks and smiles. _It’ll make for a good story to tell later._

Aomine finally finds the pickup line he was looking for and he looks up at the blond smiling patiently despite the long wait. _Isn't he closer than before? Whatever, let's get this over with._

“If I had a dollar every time I… Damn it…” Aomine looks down to read the rest of the line. 

Kise, barely able to hear over the loudness of the group behind him, moves closer and leans in, dying to finally hear what this strange man worked so hard to say.

They’re so close that Aomine gets a good look at the blond's gorgeous honey brown eyes. Close enough to notice the faint ring of gold surrounding his pupil almost hidden in the brown. _Damn, and he smells as good as he looks too._

Aomine’s sweaty hands fumble and the next thing he knows, his cards fall by the pretty boy’s feet. 

“Shit!”

Aomine was wrong. This could get worse. Much, MUCH worse. 

The blond moves fast, bending to pick up the cards first, waking up the few brain cells still active in Aomine’s brain who also bends and mutters a “sorry”. 

Pretty boy ends up holding most of Aomine’s cards, and to Aomine’s horror, he starts **READING** them. 

Short of ripping them out of the pretty blond's hands, "Oh fuck..." is all Aomine can say and think.

Kise slowly stands and is unable to hide the huge smile growing on his lips as he reads pickup line after pickup line, all carefully written by hand, in purple ink no less, on crumpled note cards. 

Each pickup line is cheesier than the next, to a point where he can’t tell which is worse. He lowers the cards and looks at the man in front of him, incredulous, but then can’t help but look at the other cards, unable to stop himself from reading them all, chuckling when he finds a particularly cheesy one.

Aomine’s cheeks are burning. His mind is sounding all sorts of alarms, knowing far too well what’s coming next, and there’s no way in hell he’s standing here to face it. Not again. Fuck this dating bullshit. He’s had enough. He should have listened to his gut and ignored this dating crap. Why did he let it get to him in the first place anyway? His friends might have had good intentions, but staying home is exactly what he should have done. _Screw this._ He turns to leave but his arm catches on something. His head flips in the direction of whatever’s preventing him from leaving, ready to punch his way out if needed.

Aomine freezes when he sees the blond holding his arm with a strange look on his face. _What now?_ Not looking forward to being made fun of, he releases his arm from the blond's light grip and turns to face him. 

“Listen…” Aomine starts, thinking of how to he can get away from this without looking like a complete loser. 

But his words are cut short when the blond gets closer and takes his hand, causing his heart to do a few backflips, and then puts the cards in Aomine’s hand. 

The blond points to one of the pick up lines and says “Here, try again,” with the softest smile.

Aomine blinks twice, still staring at the blond, not sure of anything anymore. _What the hell is going on? This guy has every right to be laughing at me right now. So why isn’t he?_

Kise, sensing the tanned man’s hesitation, nods and points at the cards again.

Aomine swallows hard. Looks like he has no choice but to read the pickup line again. 

Holding onto the cards tightly this time… “If I had a dollar every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d have exactly one dollar,” he says, ready to die right there and then.

Aomine can’ think of a way where things had gone worse than they did. Despite all the help his friends gave him, he still managed to screw things up. He closes his eyes and readies himself for the inevitable wave of insults and laughter that are about to come his way.

“What’s your name?” Kise asks. 

“A-Aomine,” he says opening his eyes. 

“Nice to meet you Aominecchi.” Kise bows politely. “I’m Kise.”

“Nice to meet you too.” Aomine bows awkwardly wondering what the _cchi_ means. “I’m Ao… Ah fuck, I said that already.”

Kise chuckles. 

Aomine hears Kise say something but, suddenly convinced that his ears are defective, stutters a surprise “W-what?” 

Kise gets closer, takes off Aomine's horrible fake glasses, and puts them on himself instead. He wraps his arms around Aomine’s neck and leans completely flat against him, taking the time to thoroughly enjoy those deep blue eyes and the warmth coming from Aomine's chest. Then, he slowly repeats “Your place… or mine?” with the most devilish smile Aomine has ever seen.

Aomine’s stunned. Is he dreaming? Definitely dreaming. “I, uh, I don’t… have a card for that,” is all his jellied brain can spit out. 

Kise laughs, bringing goosebumps all over Aomine’s body. He desperately wants Kise to stay this close and almost whines when Kise moves away, but quiets down when their fingers interlace, and he's slowly being led through the crowd. 

It takes a second for Aomine to notice that they're headed towards the exit… but in all honesty, he’s ready to follow Kise wherever he wants. 

Aomine’s heart is beating so loud, he can’t hear the music anymore. His skin is burning up, he can’t think straight anymore despite not drinking a sip of alcohol, and it feels like he's floating. He looks where his friends are sitting, seeing a collection of wide eyes and open jaws, which he absolutely relates to.

How on Earth had this worked?

As they make their way out, Aomine’s eyes stop on a familiar face and, if at all possible, his smile widens even more. Sara is sitting with her friends, face locked in jealous awe as she watches who he’s leaving with.

He looks back at Kise, taking note of how his perfectly round ass moves from side to side as he walks in front of him, and when the blond turns around to offer him what can only be described as a thousand watt smile, he can’t help but melt. Aomine returns it with the warmest smile he’s ever given, instantly forgetting the insanity his life had become, and ready to do anything this pretty boy will ask of him. 

_This guy... this guy is fun._ Aomine can feel the nasty fog lift from his mind, as if Kise's the ray of sunshine he so desperately needs in his life. A bright light leading him away from his increasingly dull, gloomy life.

The last words to cross his mind as they exits the bar are… 

“Fuck yeah!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Aomine finally got his pretty boy! (more like Kise got him, but you know what I mean. lol)
> 
> Next chapter is some smut, if you guys want some that is. Let me know in the comments ok? I have something planned already, but I don't know how far I'll take it yet, it'll depend on what you guys want:
> 
> What do you guys want?  
> 1- No smut.  
> 2- A little bit of smut.  
> 3- ALL THE SMUT!!!  
> 


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